Coming soon:

"The Ultimate Warning Labels"

Yes my friend, we are fast approaching an avalanche of "WARNING LABELS". The latest threat to our general health has been brought to our attention by the great state of California, land of earthquakes, road rage, plastic surgery and sex change operations.

It seems that there has been a gathering of judicial minds (only those that have undergone and completed Pchychoanalysis) and have concluded that the lowly French fry is the culprit which is wiping out the Californians (not the (Bleeping) 50 gillion cars parked on its expressways) or (the multitudes that daily soak up the rads on the beach) or Heaven forbid, the now legally dispensed grass (Prescription only). Suddenly there’s alot more dudes that don’t feel well.

This collection of intellectual Analites has filed a lawsuit against all the hamburger joints (not to be confused with drug houses) which will require French fries to display a (Bleeping) "WARNING LABEL". I pose two questions: 1 - Is this retroactive?, 2 - Is each individual fry to be labeled?

You should give the general public the opportunity to return any Fry purchased within the last decade or two, to return it for full refund and continue on to the nearest (Bleeping) Law Firm that is a participant in Class Action Suites.

Individual Fries should be labeled to lessen the possibility of "Biff" ingesting this venomous potato accidentally, especially when chances are, he’s on some sort of prescribed medication.
A group photo of these California lawmakers will appear on the cover of next months issue "Proctology & You". This issue: " What’s Behind California Law".