It GOT COLD !!!!

CRANK UP THAT SUPER HEATER:

After this long long summer and watching those poor (Bleepers) fry in New Orleans the Iceman kinda was looking forward to the Fall. Wellll!!! Herrreee we are!!!! Got cold all of a sudden soooo, get a grip on the old thermostat, ... switch that baby from AC to HEAT and let er rip! Let er rip. I saaiidd, " Let er rip!" ...... RIP!! Please RIP! ..... Son of a (Bleep).

Here we go again. I hafta call my infamous South Jersey Gas Co (SJG) again. Having no fear of retaliation from these people because of previous confrontations (they never shut off the gas), I made the dooms day call.

Ring, Ring: Pleasant answering message ( tells you all you ever wanted to know about Gas Heat and just how wonderful the company is. Kinda makes you think they teamed up with Mother Theresa.

South Jersey Gas: Hello, SJG. What can we do for you?

Iceman: My heater won’t go on.

South Jersey Gas: Oh? What seems to be the problem?

Iceman: No heat and I’m cold.

South Jersey Gas: OK. We’ll send somebody out.

Iceman: When?

South Jersey Gas: You be home next week?

Iceman: Look. I’m cold now. Is that the best you can do?

South Jersey Gas: Your on the list. Do you want service?

Iceman: I’m on your "Service Sentry Protection Plan" but I guess your short a few Sentries. Send him out ASAP.

South Jersey Gas: That’ll be next Thursday between Noon and 5. Have a nice day and thank you for calling SJG. (click)

The guy shows up a few days later. He acts like he ate a plate of glass for lunch. I don’t think I’m on their preferred customer list.

SJG Technician: What’s wrong with your heater?

Iceman: Are you related to my Doctor? He asks me what’s wrong too. I don’t know! It won’t turn on.

SJG Technician: OK. I’ll check it out

Cling Clang Bang Bang: 15 / 20 minutes. I pop my head out.

Iceman: All done? Heaters on. Good job.

SJG Technician: Worst heater I ever saw. Piece of junk. Ya know what a KIA is? Same thing. Cheapest piece of crap you can get. Your lucky it works at all.

Iceman: It looks pretty good to me. Been running for 5 years. Never had a problem. Nobody ever said anything.

SJG Technician: Like I said. Piece of (Bleep). Sometimes they don’t run two years. I’m outa here.

Iceman: Well, thanks for gettin this pile of (Bleep) runnin for me. By the way. That truck your driven? Ever notice how many recalls their having on them? Something about brake failures and fires right before they roll over. You be extra careful now ya hear?