Merile & The Iceman :

"The ICEMANS FINANCIAL CONSULTANT"

The "NestEGG":

Between the avalanche of junk mail and constant repetition of TV ads touting investment opportunities and how you can get rich by handing over your "NestEGG" to one of these top notch financial wizards, the Iceman became convinced that he was not intelligent enough to continue watching over his "NestEGG" all alone. He was in desperate need of a gennuuuiine professional.

Enter an honest to God "Financial Consultant", an FC, OR, later on, refereed to as a MF.

(Ring)

FC OFFICE: Hello. Merile’s Offices. Merile speaking. What can I do for you?

Iceman: Hello Merile. It’s the Iceman. Saw your ads and figured I’d take you up on your offer to make me rich. Hook me up.

FC OFFICE: Wait a minute, not so fast. We only handle entire NestEggs. You have that?

Iceman: Yup. The whole works, the big Enchilada.

FC OFFICE: Great. Do you know anything about investing at all, even a teeny weeny bit?

Iceman: Not really.

FC OFFICE: Super. Your the perfect client. Now I can turn you over to one of our Gurus. Your sure you don’t know anything about this stuff?

Iceman: Yup.

(put on hold) (music)

FC: Hello. Somebody said you wanted to invest your "NestEGG".

Iceman: Yup. I wanna invest and I’m really anxious to get started.

FC: OK. OK. So, what do you wanna do? I mean, what do you want ME the FC to do?

Iceman: WHAAAT? I dunnnooo. Your supposed to tell me aren’t ya?

FC: Look. Just send over your NestEGG and maybe I’ll call you later.

(click) (music & song to "If I were a rich man ...... "

(5 months later)

(Ring)

FC: Hello. Your FC Guru here.

Iceman: Hey!! I’m lookin at these papers you mailed me and I’m like 30% down on my NestEGG. What the(Bleeps) goin on?

FC: Did you read the fine print?

Iceman: Fine print!!??? What happened to my freaking NestEGG?

FC: Listen. We don’t use that language here. We’re gonna send back your stinkin NestEGG, .... minus the service charges. If your not happy, sue me. Just remember we’ve got umpty billion bucks and a whole bunch of mouthpieces on the payroll (Bleep)hole.

(Click) (music ... Sinatra ... "My Way")

Iceman: Ugh Oh. MF