Fill Er Up:

"Just give me a 100 Bucks worth"

Are these "the good old days" I thought? Heavens to (Bleeping) Betsy. It seems like yesterday when you got gas, the attendant spoke English, checked your oil, water, tires, and cleaned your windshield. Lots of times you were given some dishes or maybe even a free car wash, that is, only if you went for the whole ten dollar fill up.

Yesterday the Iceman pulled into his local neighborhood multimillion dollar Mega Station, just off the I95 parking lot.

Where these (Bleeping) people are going I don’t know, but their all late and it always seems to me their living in the opposite place. There’s just as many cars going South as North.

So the Iceman pulls in:

Morning! Fill it with 87 please.

Not so fast Afendi. You sure you want to fill it?

Of course, it’ll take a quarter tank just to get home on the parking lot.

OK. Would you like to talk to our Petroleum Financial Consultant?

No. Just fill it up.

AMX Gold Card or Check?

Cash.

Cash!!? You carry that kinda money on you!!? Praise Allah, another rich Senator or Congressman. Maybe you have lots of Exxon shares?

Where did you learn English? I noticed you have no problem counting.

From all the wonderful troops you have in my homeland. Nice boys.

Check the air in my tires will you? One seems a little low.

Who the (Bleep) do you think you are? Check em yourself. If you got anything left after this fill, you can BUY all the air you want over at our air pump. As for your windshield ..... don’t even think about it. Press a button you lazy fat SOB. Come in here and boss me around for a lousy 100 bucks!!
You better hope this company doesn’t bull (Bleep) you more with these hurricanes or the next time you gas up you’ll have to (Bleep) me.

Where’s the nearest Hybrid dealership around here?