Coming soon:

"The Ultimate Warning Labels"

Yes my friend, we are fast approaching an avalanche of "WARNING LABELS". The latest threat to our general health has been brought to our attention by the great state of California, land of earthquakes, road rage, plastic surgery and sex change operations.

It seems that there has been a gathering of judicial minds (only those that have undergone and completed Pchychoanalysis) and have concluded that the lowly French fry is the culprit which is wiping out the Californians (not the (Bleeping) 50 gillion cars parked on its expressways) or (the multitudes that daily soak up the rads on the beach) or Heaven forbid, the now legally dispensed grass (Prescription only). Suddenly there’s alot more dudes that don’t feel well.

This collection of intellectual Analites has filed a lawsuit against all the hamburger joints (not to be confused with drug houses) which will require French fries to display a (Bleeping) "WARNING LABEL". I pose two questions: 1 - Is this retroactive?, 2 - Is each individual fry to be labeled?

You should give the general public the opportunity to return any Fry purchased within the last decade or two, to return it for full refund and continue on to the nearest (Bleeping) Law Firm that is a participant in Class Action Suites.

Individual Fries should be labeled to lessen the possibility of "Biff" ingesting this venomous potato accidentally, especially when chances are, he’s on some sort of prescribed medication.
A group photo of these California lawmakers will appear on the cover of next months issue "Proctology & You". This issue: " What’s Behind California Law".

Obesity & you:

"FBD"

Ah yes. Now that we have just about castrated Joe’s Camel and even the best lawyers in town realize they can’t possibly suck any more dollars out of the Marlboro man, it’s time for the Media to TELL YOU what the next (Bleeping) life threatening thing is.
And THAT is:

The Fat Bastards Disease: (FBD)

AKA: Obesity

Finally, this disease is coming to the forefront and we can begin to focus on the problem. We can pursue those people responsible for the disease and continue to dispense products that have the capacity to cripple our health.

Now, most Fat Bastards are subject to ridicule on a daily basis. This creates huge psychological problems and overwhelming anxiety. More often than not, through no fault of their own, the humiliation drives these poor (Bleepers) into a feeding frenzy. You see where this is going? It’s a vicious cycle.

There are several plans of attack under way to resolve the problem and return us to a size 2 or 8 or (Bleeping) whatever. An unknown number of lawyers are salivating over the opportunity to interview large groups of Fat Bastards and convince them they have subconsciously been led into this eating habit (soon to be labeled as an addiction). It shouldn’t take that much convincing, and many of the firms can draw on the data they accumulated from previous Class Action Suites involving the Marlboro Man. There’s gotta be a lot of Fat Bastards in there, and those clients are already certified Screaming Mimi’s.

The general opinion is that if they can successfully knock Joe off his Camel, it should be no problem to knock the balls (or balloons) off that (Bleeping) Clown. That all smiles, big red nosed SOB that lures the mass’ into any one of those thousands of force feeding establishments.

Over time, with constant bombardment from TV and the like, we’ll gradually force the Fat Bastards (FBD) to assemble in small groups and eat outdoors. We can ban picnics and barbecues. Eventually we may be able to remove all burgers and fries from stadiums and all public buildings; but, if you can’t shake the addiction, you could still purchase them from any convenience store for 6 or 7 bucks a bite.

Look, no kidding, when this country was first settled, people were more lean, got a lot of exercise and fresh air but dinner was a little iffy (no pizza delivery), people died young (no HMOs), ... sometimes from starvation (no Mickey Ds), but they looked real good. At that time (FBD) was unheard of. Good thing for the horseys.

We can all look forward to the day when we’re all skinny, just like other people maybe like in Africa or Somalia. They don’t (Bleeping) smoke either.

As for myself, I love seafood and seem to be immune to Mercury and other toxins but unfortunately, I am still afflicted with "FBD".

BATTER UP !!!!

It's PHILLIE"S GAY DAY:

The Phillie's introduction of "Annual Gay Day" was an apparent attempt to boost sales, certainly not to create problems within the city of brotherly love. I'm quite sure, because of all this controversy, the organization will contemplate offering a more inclusive invitation to "Special Days", e.g., "Lesbian Day", "Bisexual Day", "Heterosexual Day", and a real special day set aside for those that can't decide which day to show up.

The placard business would boom perhaps, but the installment of metal detectors might offset any additional profits.

Hold on to your BUTTS !!!!!

"Philly Fanatics" and the confusion that ensues:

Flip flopping on Smoking Ban:

Just how long are we to continue the big debate about Smoking Bans? There seems to be no end ..... BUTT .... there always was a glaring solution.

Instead of violating the NON-smokers civil rights by allowing those dastardly nicotine addicts to jeopardize their health, or conversely, depriving addicts like me, my constitutional right to smoke since the first peace-pipe was offered, BAN the growing of tobacco. Is that so (Bleeping) difficult? Why for Petes’ sake can’t we just screw the tobacco growers all together. (Bleep) any constitutional rights they may have. Besides, probably a good portion of the
NON-smoking posse more than likely want to legalize Marijuana, and that would be great, a simple crop switch. Second hand smoke produced in that environment wouldn’t generate half as much constant bellyaching (Bleeping) whining and complaining.

Why, .... even some Doctors are recommending the use of grass for medicinal purposes. That’s working out real well in California. The Left Coasters have a good handle on the problem and we should follow suit.

The tobacco growers must be suffering huge loss’ anyway with all the existing and emerging bans plus all the compensation monies paid out to the states. Those billions were put to good use to help people resist the temptation to smoke. All three commercials I viewed certainly impressed me. Those 20 second commercials are expensive.

As I recall, some health insurer’s also took a healthy bite out of Joe Camels butt. I suppose that’s the main reason there’s been such a (Bleeping) dramatic drop in health insurance premiums. Who the (Bleep) is kidding who?

Isn’t there one single politician with enough testosterone to behead the (Bleeping) camel? Quit blowing all this smoke up my (Bleep) about BANS, BANS, and more BANS. Get on the (Bleeping) "BAN WAGON", heed to the demands of your constituents and give them the freedom to focus on banning burgers and sodas and a whole raft of other stuff.

Eventually, the only remaining threat will be Kryptonite ....

Why not re-tool Marlboro country (save all those jobs), grow some good Weed (is everybody happy?) and let Friscos' Cheech & Chong do the politicking.

Philadelphia: My Home Town

Give me Fresh Air .... or give me a pack of "Luckys" ...... whichever!!

"The city of brotherly love." A quote befitting a fine fine city .... some take this expression literally .... other citizens and politicians just hold hands and sing "We are the world." Sometimes you can even hear it over the gunfire.

On Line Public Survey: www.philagov.org

Mr. Street (Mayor) wants to ban a"BAD" habit. Well, goody for him. I’m quite sure that many of his colleagues and relatives within the administration definitely share his feelings, at least those that haven’t been indicted yet or happen to be a "person of interest". Ya know there's NO smoking in the clink anymore.

Let's ban all "BAD" habits. 1-All Alcoholic Beverages (Beer-Liquor-Wine). It harms the consumer & contributes substantially to pedestrian deaths. 2-All fast foods. It promotes obesity and adds to health risks. 3- All coffee shops. Caffeine. Same as nicotine. 4- All Doughnuts. Same as fast foods. 5-All high powered vehicles. You cannot travel more than 20 mph on any city street or highway anyway. 6- All vehicles operating with one lone driver except Pizza deliveries. And finally, let's ban all Lawyers & Politicians, especially those individuals who hold both titles.

Most citizens are acutely allergic to BULL(Bleep).

Here’s the Q & A:
(All theoretical answers supplied by yours truly (Iceman)):

1) Should the government require a non-smoking environment for small employers with less than three(3)employees per shift where the general public is not impacted?

Yes
No: The government should not discriminate against "little" (people) employers (dwarfism).

2) Should there be "smoking" restaurants just like there are "non-smoking" restaurants?

Yes: As long as there are no visible flames.
No

3) Should employers be permitted the opportunity to maintain facilities which provide for both non-smoking as well as smoking environments so long as NON- smokers are protected, such as through the use of separate rooms and smoke ventilation systems?

Yes: Absolutely, and NON-smokers should be provided (Bleeping) gas masks as well.
No

4) Should adult smokers be allowed to smoke as much as they please, especially in bars and restaurants, if non-smokers are not hurt?

Yes: Adults ... yes! Children should have limits.
No

5) Should we just let the FREE MARKET work? Will people go to facilities which fail to adequately protect them from cigarette smoke?

Yes: "FREE !!!????? What the (Bleep) planet do you hail from?
No

6) Is there any value to showing a certain RESPECT for smokers by providing THEM with an outlet to pursue their BAD but perfectly legal habit?

Yes: "RESPECT !!!!". I musta missed that. "BAD ???" .... get a (Bleeping) life Monsignor.
No

7) Is it fair that some employees who may not want to work in a "smoking" environment may have to do so because of economic circumstances?

Yes: Especially when you work for Philip Morris.
No

8) If it is not fair, then should any legislation require protections for employees working in a "smoking" environment?

Yes: Refer to # 3
No

9) Is it enough to offer people a choice to enter or avoid "smoking" restaurants?

Yes
No: There should be "smoking" restaurants, "non-smoking" restaurants", and restaurants that only cater to NON-smoking, pill pooping, vegetarian, left coast weenies.

Note: If you really wanna quit, join one of those (Bleeping) radical terrorist groups. They don't allow smoking, ..... even in the privacy of their own caves. I guess that's why we started that big "Joe Camel" campaign .... just to (Bleep) them off.

Beep Beep II:

The continuing saga of "Darth."

You may recall the first mention of "Darth" if you’ve been perusing these Blogs of mine. If you have, I’m flattered, but I have to tell you, "you’ve got WAAYYY too much (Bleeping) time on your hands".

Anyway,.. "Darths" my supposed "super duper", "fully equipped", "totally warranteed", "King of the road " "2005 "Magnum".

Included in the package of this magnificent piece of machinery is a whole set of indestructible "low profile" racing tires (well, .. not exactly a whole set, 4 real ones and one of those spares that you wouldn’t trust on your kids coaster wagon).

They look bbbeeeeuuuutiful on those "mag wheels".

Loookkkinnnn good. Real good. Feels good. Really, really good.

(Bleeping) NNNNOOOOTTT!!!!!!

After a coupela three four cruises over to AC and a few round trips to our local WaWa, "Darth" had soon covered around 8 or 900mi with no incident. A remarkable exhibition of 21st Century engineering in true Daimler tradition.

Unfortunately, somewhere around the 900 mi. mark, "Darth" was wounded. He suffered a massive "flat" attack . I was devastated and took immediate action, pulling off to the side of the road. Just by luck, I remembered there was one of those fancy schmancy tire places about 1/4 mile up the road. Sooo, .. I figured I could nurse "Darth" there with no (Bleeping) problem, ..... super duper indestructible rubber and all.

Arrived at the Universal Tire (fix or buy) place:

Impressive. Waiting room, very clean .... neat chairs, magazines. They even sell fancy wheels here...... polish & cleaning gear, but that stuffs in glass cases or up on shelves behind the counter. Must be pretty expensive.
The manager was behind the counter. I guess he was the manager, ... was wearing a tie. No suit though. He seemed to be busy with a bunch of invoices. I thought maybe somebody clipped one of those high priced cans of polish.

Conversation:
Manager: And what can we do for you sir?

Iceman: Have a flat. Can you plug it for me?

Manager: No problem. Right away. Going to wait for it?

Iceman: Yup. My chauffeurs got the weekend off.

Manager gets on the PA and calls for a "Tire Technician". The young man promptly appeared, took the keys and pulled "Darth" into a bay. About 5 minutes later he came through the door behind the counter and spoke to the manager briefly. Manager was shaking his head, looked over at me and signaled for me to come over. He looked like I just ran over his cat.

Manager: You’ve got a real problem here.

Iceman: What’s the problem?

Manager: Tires ruined.

Iceman: Ruined? How ruined?

Manager: Shot. You rode on it. Cut the sidewall.

Iceman: Buttt. I only drove up the street?

Manager: Ats a shame. Finished. Kaput. What can I tell you? Ya want a new one?

Iceman: How much for a new one.

Manager: I’ll check our data base and give you a price.

He gets right on his computer and comes back to me.

Manager: That’ll be about 200 bucks plus tax.

Iceman: Well, ... I guess I’ll have to do it.

Manager: OK. Let me check our data base again. We have thousands of tires at our warehouse.

Back to the computer for a few minutes then starts making phone calls. Suddenly he motions to me and I go over.

Manager: It’ll take about a week to ten days to get the tire. Ya want me to place the order?

Iceman: Whattt!!!??? What the (Bleep) is that about?

Manager: You can’t get these tires. There too new.

Iceman: Too new? It’s a (Bleeping) tire!

Manager: Can’t get em. Made special for the "Magnums".

Iceman: "Darth" has "special" tires?

Manager: Yep. Brand new. Can’t get em.

Iceman: How about Ebay? Think I could find one there?

Manager: Pleasseee!!! These are special on this car.

Iceman: Maybe you didn’t notice .... It’s a (Bleeping) Dodge. You know .... like Ford, Chevy. Not Ferarri or Maseratti.

Manager: This is a Contitouring Contact tire.

Iceman: A (Bleeping) what?

Manager: Contitouring Contact.

Iceman: Never heard of one.

Manager: That makes two of us.

Iceman: What makes it so special?

Manager: Puncture proof.

Iceman: I’ve got a (Bleeping) flat!!!

Manager: Look. Your car is fairly new. They should warrant the tire.

Iceman: Fairly (Bleeping) new!!?? It’s 2004 now, "Darth" is a 2005. I don’t have a grand on it yet.

Manager: How bout we put the spare on and you can take the car to the dealership?

Iceman: Sounds good to me. Do it. Put the bad tire in the back.

They put it on. Put the (Bleeping) dirty ass flat in the back. Now the (Bleeping) car not only is not cool with that (Bleeping) piece of (Bleep) wanna be tire but it now has developed a (Bleeping) irritating rattle in the back of the car. You know how that works.

Next AM. I show up at my infamous Dodge Chrysler Dealership. The one that prizes itself on customer satisfaction and all the rest of that happy horse(Bleep). First in line again.

Service Specialist: Good morning. What’s your problem?

Iceman: Comon out to the car and I’ll show you.

We go out to the bay and look at "Darth".

Service Specialist: So. What’s the problem?

Iceman: If you look reeaall close, you can see I had to put on the spare.

Service Specialist: Yeah. And?

Iceman: And? And I got a flat on one of these super duper tires.

Service Specialist: And?

Iceman: And. And isn’t this covered under warranty?

Service Specialist: Fraid not.

Iceman: What? The cars brand new. Aren’t these super tires covered?

Service Specialist: Nupe! The whole car is under warranty from bumper to bumper......... eexxcceepptt the tires.

Iceman: (Bleep) Well, what’ll I do now?

Service Specialist: Don’t know what to tell ya.

Iceman: What the (bleep) does that mean?

Service Specialist: You’ll have to talk to the tire company.

Iceman: Where the (Bleep) are they?

Service Specialist: Don’t have a clue.

Iceman: Can you give me a (Bleeping) hint?

Service Specialist: Maybe you should take the car over to our tire store.

Iceman: This dealership has a tire store?

Service Specialist: Yup.

Iceman: And where I might ask, is your store?

Service Specialist: Right across the street.

Iceman: Did you ever notice any severe swelling around your temples?

Off to the tire store ... across the road.......

Tire Service Specialist: (In near perfect English) Good morning. Can I help you.

Iceman: I hope so. Come on out to the car so I can show you.

Tire Service Specialist: What’s the problem?

Iceman: Got a flat on one of these super tires.

Tire Service Specialist: I can see that. Whata ya want me to do?

Iceman: Aren’t these tires under warranty?

Tire Service Specialist: Yea. They should be. It all depends.

Iceman: On what?

Tire Service Specialist: On how the tire was damaged.

Iceman: Damaged? These tires are supposed to be puncture proof.

Tire Service Specialist: That’s true enough, but you rode on the tire and ruined the sidewall. Your lucky you didn’t damage the wheel. Their about 2 grand a pop.

Iceman: That’s right but I rode on it because the tire got punctured.

Tire Service Specialist: So what are you telling me?

Iceman: I’m telling you that you are drinking the same water here as that guy across the street. Apparently your both suffering from some sort of "dementia."

Tire Service Specialist: What’s that?

Iceman: It’s a Psychiatric problem that develops prematurely when you hang around Dodge dealerships too long. Listen, .. can you check out this warranty and put a new one on?

Tire Service Specialist: No problem. Let me check on the computer.

Minutes pass.

Tire Service Specialist: Ok. Heres the deal. We can get you a fresh one. Be here in about 5 ta 10 days.

Iceman: What the (Bleep)!!! You don’t have one of these in stock?

Tire Service Specialist: Nope. Can’t get em. Too new. Nobodys got em. Ya want I should order one?

Iceman: I guess so. I don’t feel real comfotable riding around on that dwarf tire. How much?

Tire Service Specialist: About a buck 80 plus tax.

Iceman: Is it covered under warranty?

Tire Service Specialist: Nope.

Iceman: Why the (Bleep) not!!??

Tire Service Specialist: You rode on a flat.

Iceman: Order the (bleeping) tire.

Tire Service Specialist: Ya want the same kinda tire?

Iceman: No. I want two different kinds of tires on this (Bleeping) thing plus a (bleeping) toy spare that’ll be no (bleeping) good by the time you get the new tire from China or India or where the (Bleep) ever this super secret factory is.

Tire Service Specialist: OK. I’ll give you a buzz as soon as it arrives Mr. Iceman. Que lo pases bien. (have a good day)

Iceman: Adios amigo.

How to live to be a 100 ...... or almost a hundred.

Getin to be a little older than dirt myself, I can’t help but look back and wonder how anybody dodged all the threats that surrounded my generation. I guess it was just dumb luck.


Can you imagine riding your bike or scooter without a helmet? Your parents actually put you in the family jalopy WITHOUT a safety belt, much less a child’s safety seat....... Mom & Dad didn’t even strap themselves in .... and no air bags either. To compound the threat .... this death trap had no crash resistant bumpers or puncture proof tires. It’s a wonder we didn’t all get (Bleeping) killed.


Lots of people smoked those (Bleeping) cigarettes .... Dad smoked EVEN WHILE DRIVING. I have to confess, I even bought cigarettes at the candy store on the way to school (penny apiece). They never asked for ID. That was in Grade School. By the time High School rolled around, you almost couldn’t see the Father Judge H.S. students at lunch time there was so much smoke. There was no talk about second hand smoke .... there was none .... it was ALL first hand. It’s a wonder all of us didn’t (Bleeping) die at once from lung disease.

Mom was actually home all the time, taking care of the kids, cleaning the house (with a multitude of toxic cleaning agents). She used to make dinner with red meats, fish and sometimes oysters or clams ..... never really checking to see if anything was contaminated. When dinner was ready, she’d holler out the door "Dinners Ready!", ... often times right after you were chasing the DDT truck that just sprayed the whole block. It’s a miracle we lived past our teens.

My Uncle Rudy would show up now and then in his perfect Model A Ford. I loved that man. Never met a happier person. All he needed was that Ford and a pack of Viceroys to make him happy. By chance, he survived all the dangers of this type of vehicle AND Lord knows how many smokes. He past away in his late 80s or early 90s never knowing the danger he was in. I’m not exactly sure of his age when he died. I’ll try and remember to ask his sister next time I see her. Rudy loved to tinker. That’s him in the picture. One of his most remembered expressions, "Life is a dream." Indeed Uncle Rudy, indeed.

Fifty years have passed. I’m still here .... and so is the largest segment of the population commonly referred to as the "Baby Boomers". A big enough group to threaten SS. Is that a (Bleeping) miracle or what. They have managed to maneuver their way through a multitude of life threatening scenarios.

We have finally removed, or are attempting to remove, lots of things that shortened the lives of our predecessors. The only problems that we need to overcome now are, Mercury in the sea food, contaminated blood, AIDS, toxic air, contaminated water, road rage, Mad Cow Disease, etc., etc., and a whole bunch of Turban types running around with suitcase bombs, .... not to mention the remnants of that (Bleeping) outlaw gang of Nicotine addicts.

Not to worry. Take some Valium, Riddlin, or any one of a million legal OTC drugs out there now, and relax. If anything bad does happen, you’ll never know it. If you do, you can always give Dr. Phil or Oprah a buzz.

I’m gonna go cash my SS check, have a smoke and a shot of CC
(with a lemon wedge).

It’s HOT !!!!

Don’t sweat it:

Being one of those so-called more or less "empty nester" couples, my wife and I decided to do a little "Downsizing" of our own, ..... sold the big Hacienda and bought one of those cutecy little condos’. Not new, but situated on a real nice established Golf Course, mature trees and shrubs, the place was ideal.

Did the whole thing over, ... rugs, paint, some recessed lights, frig, put in a micro wave, all those things. Checked out the heater and AC ..... signed up for the "Service Sentry Plan" from South Jersey Gas just so if there was some future problem with the heat or air; not bad, lookin good.

Fat and happy me.

Long story short. Lived here a year, moved in the summer, went through the winter, no need to call the "Sentry". Everything A OK. The following Spring was warm. Warm enough to turn on the Air. It got cool, but not cool enough for me, then it kinda wasn’t doin too much of (Bleeping) anything. Not to worry ...... we’re 100% protected by our "Service Sentry Plan". So, I called them up.

Conversation:

South Jersey Gas: Hello, SJG. What can we do for you?

Iceman: My AC isn’t cold enough.

South Jersey Gas: What’s the problem?

Iceman: My AC isn’t cold enough.

South Jersey Gas: Do you know why?

Iceman: Is this SJG that offers the "Service Sentry Protection Plan"?

South Jersey Gas: Do you have Gas?

Iceman: Not at the moment but I don’t feel well at all.

South Jersey Gas: No, .. I mean are you a SJG customer?

Iceman: Yes I am and we have the "Service Sentry Protection Plan".

South Jersey Gas: Great. Are you on the
"Service Sentry Protection Plan"?

Iceman: Yes, ... do you suffer from headaches?

South Jersey Gas: OK. I have you up on the screen. A SJG Technician will be dispatched to your location as soon as possible. Click

The arrival: which was sooner than I expected. Still fat and happy me.

SJG Technician: Yes sir, I’m your SJG man and here to check out the AC.

Iceman: Super. It’s blowin cool air but I don’t think it’s workin right.

SJG Technician: OK. I’ll check the whole system and get you up and running.

He checked the Thermostat, the inside temp, outside temp, and went out to the unit. Checked the pressure? fluid?, all kinds of things. Good man, very thorough. Even partially dismantled the unit. Got him an Ice Tea. Spent about 4 or 5 hours on the job.

After checking and rechecking, the nice man came inside, gave me a small bill that I would have to pay for gas or something he put in the machine, about 6 bucks. The AC was pumping cold air. I watched the man leave and returned to my cool condo fat and happy. Ugh oh, .... it was warming up again. Hated to do it buuutttt, had to call back (Bleep).

South Jersey Gas: Hello, SJG. What can we do for you.

Iceman: Your man was just here and my AC is warm again.

South Jersey Gas: OK. I’ve got you up on the screen. It says here we just sent a Technician out for service. Is that right?

Iceman: Correct.

South Jersey Gas: What’s the problem now?

Iceman: The problem is, the problem is not fixed.

South Jersey Gas: OK. We’ll send a SJG Technician out again.

Next AM. Really good service. Fat and happy once more.
Knock, knock.

NEW SJG Technician: What’s the problem?

Iceman: (Yada Yada Yada)

NEW SJG Technician: OK ... I’ll check it out.

3 minutes later. Knock, knock.

NEW SJG Technician: We don’t service these units.

Iceman: The guy was here yesterday and worked on it for 4 or 5 hours.

NEW SJG Technician: We don’t service these units.

Iceman: What? What units?

NEW SJG Technician: We don’t service "Heat Pumps".

Iceman: You did yesterday. Here’s the bill. I don’t know a "Heat Pump" from a Stealth Bomber but I ASSUMED YOU DID.

NEW SJG Technician: It’s busted anyway. Ya wanna buy a new one? I got a friend who sells them.

Iceman: How much will that cost me?

NEW SJG Technician: About 2500. I can get him out here tomorrow.

Iceman: Will SJG cover that thing?

NEW SJG Technician: No. We don’t service "Heat Pumps".

Iceman: Does your company Health Insurance cover Psychotherapy?

I called another guy. Next morning I had a brand spanking new AC but was $1800 poorer. After numerous calls, emails and the like, even speaking to a real muckety (Bleeping) muck company rep, they finally agreed to settle this problem and sent me a check for 6 bucks. Am I (Bleeping) fat and happy now or (Bleeping) what!!! I guess you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.

To your health .......... "Insurance" that is....

.... Black & Blue Cross .....

Received: Today

DUE: YESTERDAY

What a strategy!!!! Congrats!!!

For those of us who have to pay for our own (Bleeping) "Health Insurance" .. assuming that you can: 1st: Get Health Insurance & 2nd: If your wealthy enough to afford the outrageous premiums:

You really have to understand the game your in. The name of the game is " How to (Bleeping) screw the customer AKA "client" without him being aware of it". The premise of the game I believe is primarily based on "the Donald’s" book "The Art of the Deal". It’s kind of a road map which teaches you how to get rich. Anyone or any company can incorporate this basic formula and benefit exponentially. In short, all that is required is having the ability to purchase services or products from people, and simply refuse payment. Conversely, you supply services to individuals at exorbitant prices (especially when you have the Golden Opportunity of having them over the proverbial barrel) (much like todays Health coverage) and search for any reason (no matter how microscopic) to deny payment.

This display (check out photo) is a classic example of just one of the creative little (Bleeping) deals of the Art. Your insurance company will intentionally mail your monthly invoice on a date which will make it impossible for you to pay on time. This action provides the (Bleeping) company to prove "Late Payment" which eventually will show up on your credit record ..... or, God forbid, you are unfortunate enough to suffer some sort of illness in that same time period, ... they can and will deny coverage. Don’t let them tell you any different. They (Bleeping) WILL especially if the claim is significant.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Black & Blue Cross may own one or two Computers, maybe even a (Bleeping) Mainframe. You think that’s for your (Bleeping) benefit?? ...... your kidding RIGHT!!?? You really don’t believe these Artificially Intelligent machines are not aware of glaring errors? It’s no (Bleeping) mistake.

Ya gotta give credit where credits due. These people have it goin both ways. They knock your brains out for this coverage, create the opportunity to drop you in an instant, then ...... they short the Doctors on payments.

You ever notice how many people it takes in the Doctors office now just to send the (Bleeping) paperwork to the Insurance company? Looks like 10 to 1 to me. How come when I was a kid, no Doctor had to have an army of paperpushers? Why, .. sometimes this guy would even come out to your house! Nobody even knew what Health Insurance was much less had to worry whether or not they could afford it.

Now ..... you keep cutting back on your coverage, your forced to buy (Bleeping) no-name drugs (that’s another (Bleeping) story), go to the Doctor of THEIR (Bleeping) choice (not your guy), get (Bleeping) permission to see some special guy, and the premiums go through the (Bleeping) roof anyway. Can you actually figure out your (Bleeping) Plan? You can hardly decipher your (Bleeping) phone bill much less this (Bleeping) thing.

What the (Bleep)!!!!!!