JURY DUTY

THE GOOD NEWS:

U R STILL RECOGNIZED AS A
U.S. CITIZEN.

THE BAD NEWS:

THIS IS A (BLEEPING) SUMMONS & IF U DON'T SHOW UP, WE'RE GOIN TO LOCK UP YOUR ASS.

REASON TO COMPLY:

THEY'LL LOCK UP YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T.

REASON U DON'T WANT TO:

LAWYERS: 200 BUCKS AN HOUR
JUDGE: 100 BUCKS AN HOUR
YOU: 5 BUCKS A DAY

ACCUSED: PROBABLY A SLEAZE BALL WHO'S LAWYER DRESSED HIM UP TO LOOK LIKE A PRINCETON STUDENT.

DEFENSE LAWYER: WILL LIE LIKE HELL & WON'T SAY HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE
THE SLEAZE BALL HURT AND GO ON & ON ABOUT HIS POOR CHILDHOOD.

PROSECUTOR: JUST WANTS ANOTHER CONVICTION UNDER HIS BELT SO HE CAN GET
A JOB WITH A BIG LAW FIRM.

JUDGE: CAN OVERTURN ANY JURY VERDICT. HE ALSO WANTS A SHOW LIKE
JUDGE JUDY AND MAKE THE BIG BUCKS.

CONCLUSION: WHY CAN'T THE ICEMAN JUST MAIL IN HIS GUILTY VERDICT??