YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER NOT CRY:

YOU BETTER STOP & WATCH OR YOU WILL CRY:
REAL SOON:

Merry Chris..... (scratch that). Happy Holid ... (scratch that too)
Look! Wipe that smile off your face, drop that "Jingle Bell" crap and shut the (Bleep) up.
Just buy somethin.

After surviving all the catastrophic weather this year, the Iceman (along with thousands of others) was looking forward to the "Holiday" season for a kind of pick-me-up. You know. Thanksgiving, Xmas, etc.., caroling, presents, the smell of Xmas trees & fire places.

Anxious to get the ball rollin in the spirit of things, the Iceman noticed his favorite Walmart would be opening its doors at 5 AM on "Black Friday", the start of the Chris... (scratch that) Holiday season. Huge sales. They’ve got everything that a billion Chinese could whip together for us. So naturally the Iceman jumps in his (made in America (mostly)) family truckster, and makes a 5 AM run to Mr. Walmart.

After the 2hr line wait ... the herd enters the colossus:

Iceman: Good morning! Merrryyyy Chri.......

Mrs.WM Greeter: STOP right there. Don’t say that. We can’t say that here. I don’t say it so you shouldn’t say it either. If you have to say it, you’ll have to go outside and say it.

Iceman: Is it not the Chri... (scratch that) Season? Can I not wish my fellow Americans, and 20 million illegal Americans a Merry Chr.........?

Mrs.WM Greeter: Another (Bleeping) word and your gone buster.

Iceman: Does this mean no Santa either?

Mrs.WM Greeter: We ordered a hit on that morbidly obese SOB a year ago. Him, that bunch of dwarfs, ...... put his main squeeze in a Hospice and we have enough venison to eat for 3 years. We took over his place at the Pole, put a "For Sale by Owner" sign out and sold it to Exon that same afternoon. Come to think on it, ... they start drillin next week.

Iceman: How the hell are all these presents going to be delivered now?

Mrs.WM Greeter: Rickshaw A HOLE.

Iceman: Let me get this right. Your an American Department Store (AKA Mart) that gets all your (Bleep) from China, especially this particular time of year, for no apparent reason, outed Nick and his whole posse and now your replacing the sled delivery? Why don’t you let some of the illegal Mexicans do it. Their doin a lot of breaking and entering anyway and they can read the Spanish instructions on the stuff as well.

Mrs.WM Greeter: SECURITY!!!!!!

Iceman: Do you gift wrap explosives?