OH NO !! .... ANOTHER WARNING:

THIS TIME IT'S

RADON !!!!!!!!

FROM YOUR SUPER DUPER, BRAND SPANKING NEW, MUST HAVE .....................

GRANITE COUNTERTOPS

LOOK. DON'T GET TOO EXCITED! AFTER ALL, EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE HACIENDA IS EITHER CONTAMINATED OR A DEFINITE CANCER CAUSING AGENT.

THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN IS YOU'LL HAVE TO (BLEEP)CAN ALL THE TOPS AND REPLACE THEM WITH FIBERGLASS ........... UUGGHH? ... WAIT A MINUTO.

OK ... SO ANYWAY .... YA GOTTA GET THIS STUFF TESTED PRONTO.

WHILE YOUR AT IT .... YA MIGHT AS WELL GET THE WHOLE JOINT TESTED. THAT WAY .... YOU'LL HAVE PEACE OF MIND. JUST DON'T GET TOO UPSET IF THE RESULTS R A LITTLE EARTHSHAKING.

YA KNOW .... MAYBE THE BEST WAY TO AVOID THIS IS TO MOVE.

OH!! THE HOUSE IS IN FORECLOSURE? FORGET IT.

REMEMBER: DON'T SMOKE.