MARS

AS YOU KNOW, AN ASTEROID IS ABOUT TO STRIKE MARS.

IN ORDER TO COLLECT MORE DATA REGARDING SUCH AN EVENT, THE U.S. GOVT. HAS SECRETELY APPOINTED DENNIS KUCINICH TO STUDY THE EFFECTS OF THE IMPENDING COLLISION.

THEY PICKED DENNIS BECAUSE OF HIS RECENT CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH A UFO AND THE OBVIOUS THREAT TO HIS HOME PLANET. DENNIS HAS STATED THAT HE WILL VOLUNTARILY GIVE UP THE PRESIDENCY IN ORDER TO DEVOTE FULL CONCENTRATION ON THIS MISSION.

PICTURED ABOVE, IS A TOP SECRET (EYES ONLY) SPACE MAP THE CIA HAD HAND DELIVERED TO DENNIS, JUST IN CASE HE COULDN'T RECALL THE OLD NEIGHBORHOOD.