" DOG FOOD ALERT "

BIG TIME RECALL OF ALL FIDOS' FAVORITE FOODS.

IF YOU NOTICED YOUR POOCH BECOMING SLUGGISH OR HASN'T MOVED FOR A WEEK OR SO, CHANCES ARE HE'S LIKE REALLY BUMED OUT OR HAS EXPIRED.

IF HE STILL MOVES ONCE IN A WHILE, STOP FEEDING HIM THAT SPECIAL CHOW AND START GIVING HIM SOME OF THAT (BLEEP) TABLE FOOD THAT YOU EAT ... PROVIDING IT'S NOT ON YOUR LENGTHY POISONED FOOD LIST.

AS FOR YOUR PET PUSSY ...... WELL, ..... LET THE FAT SOB CATCH A MOUSE OR TWO.