MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS

RESCUERS GATHERED TOGETHER TODAY IN ORDER TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO RISK SAVING 3 MORE MENTALLY DEFICIENT PEOPLE AND 1 POOCH.

THEY CONCLUDED THE PUP REALLY DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

THE AUTHORITIES PLAN ON TICKETING THE CLIMBER OWNER OF THE POOCH FOR VIOLATING THE LEASH LAWS AND NOT PACKING A POOPER SCOOPER.

NEXT WEEK, OREGON WILL BEGIN CONSTRUCTION ON AN ELEVATOR INSIDE THE MOUNTAIN IN ORDER TO ALLEVIATE CLIMBING TRAFFIC AND CURB THE INSTINCTIVE URGE TO CLIMB BY THOSE THAT HAVE NOT FULLY EVOLVED FROM SASQUATCH.