TECH - NEWS

LASER COMB

GOOD NEWS:

LASER SUCKS HAIR FOLLICLES UP THROUGH SCALP.

BAD NEWS:

FOLLICLES PERFORATE SKULL & LARGE HAIRY TUMOR PROTRUDES.

WARNING LABEL:

DO NOT USE CELL PHONE WHILE USING THIS PRODUCT.

DISCONNECT MP3 PLAYER FROM EAR AND / OR SWITCH MUSIC FROM HIP HOP TO GUY LOMBARDO WHILE USING THIS PRODUCT.

REMOVE NOSE RING(S) AND ANY OTHER PIERCE GEAR FROM YOUR (BLEEPING) GLOBE (BEFORE) ACTIVATING LASER.

GAY / LESBIAN:

CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR IF YOU SUDDENLY FIND YOURSELF ADOPTING HETEROSEXUAL LIFESTYLE OR DEVELOP A TENDENCY TO VOTE REPUBLICAN.