" COCK-A-DOODLE DON'T "

- COL. SANDERS COMMITS SUICIDE BY CHICKEN -

THIS WEEK'S LIST OF CONTAMINATED FOODS INCLUDED "TACO'S" & "HENS".

OTHER THAN SWALLOWING SOMETHING RADIOACTIVE, TACO'S & CHICKEN SEEM TO BE THE ONLY TWO FOODS THAT MAY KILL YOU UNLESS YOU LIVE IN JERSEY OR YOU ARE A REGISTERED REPUBLICAN.

PLEASE ADD THESE TWO ITEMS TO YOUR " DO NOT EAT " LIST.

FOR YOUR HEALTH & SAFETY, WE HAVE MANAGED TO CLOSE 3,700 TACO BELLs THIS WEEK AND WE ARE DETERMINED TO CLOSE ALL KENTUCY FRIED CHICKEN OUTLETS. WE SINCERELY HOPE THAT NO MAD COWS ARE FOUND IN THE IMMEDIATE AREA.

NOW GO OUT THERE AND ENJOY FINE DINING. JUST DON'T EAT ANY GREENS, FISH OR POULTRY. PLEASE AVOID INGESTING ANYTHING THAT SETS OFF YOUR PORTABLE GIGER COUNTER.

(TIP) THE ONLY REALLY SAFE THING TO EAT IS SHEETROCK.