To Report an ILLEGAL ALIEN:

Dial 1-900-277-3415-222-623
EXT: 2764981IA

Listen to Soundtrack from "COPS"

Connection Directions:

For English, " PRESS 1 "
For Spanish, " PRESS UNO "
For Hearing IMPARED, " Purchase a bigger phone "
For MORBIDLY OBESE, " USE PA SYSTEM and YELL"
If you need to speak to an operator, ask for PANCHO.
Whatever you do, do not say " FELIZ NAVIDAD "