KILLER COUCH +

IN THE NEWS:

RESEARCHERS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT 2/3 OF ALL COUCHES IN CALIFORNIA ARE

HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH

HALF OF ALL CALIFORNIA FURNITURE IS CONTAMINATED AS WELL.

HOW'S THAT YOU SAY!!???

EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF FIRE RETARDENTS AND OTHER CHEMICALS.

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT BECAUSE OF THE SUCCESSFUL BAN ON SMOKING, PLUS THE APPARENT FEAR OF FIRE IN THE HACIENDA, ... YOU WON'T BURN TO DEATH.

BUT

YOU'LL MORE THAN LIKELY DIE FROM CANCER LONG BEFORE ANY CLOSET SMOKER.

A WORD TO THE WISE:

LEAVE YOUR HOUSE IMMEDIATELY AND GO OUTSIDE WITH THE SMOKERS .... TRY TO AVOID THE SMOG AND APPLY SUNTAN LOTION RATED 200+ ... UNLESS OF COURSE, THE LOTION ITSELF IS UNSAFE TO USE.