NEW PHILLY

TOP COP

ICEMAN INTERVIEW:

WELL MR. COMMISIONER, WHAT'S THE PLAN TO CUT DOWN THE MURDER & MAYHEM IN THIS CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE?

WOW!! THAT'S A TOUGH ONE BUT, RIGHT GROM THE GETGO, WE FEEL WE SHOULD HAND OUT FREE SILENCERS TO LOWER THE NOISE LEVEL OF THE CONSTANT GUNFIRE. NEXT, WE'RE GONNA HAVE SPECIAL COVERT TEAMS TO GO OUT AT NIGHT AND WASH OFF THE BLOOD FROM SIDEWALKS AND STREETS. THAT SHOULD KEEP DOWN THE LAWSUITS FROM PEOPLE SLIPPING AND FALLING ON THAT STUFF.

HOW YA DOIN SO FAR?

I GUESS YOU SAW JUST LAST WEEK SOME GIRL WAS ATTACKED AND WAS CUT TO RIBBONS BY A GANG OF GIRLS.

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN??

FOR ONE THING, SHE DIDN'T GET SHOT (NO NOISE), AND, IF YOU NOTICED, IT WAS GIRLS. SO IT LOOKS LIKE THE BOYS ARE CUTTIN BACK ON MURDERS ALREADY.