CHEESE BOMB

-WARNING -

ALL AIRPLANE PASSENGERS WILL NOW BE SEARCHED, FELT UP AND PATTED DOWN FOR CHEESE WHEELS.

NEXT WEEK, HOMELAND SECURITY IS EXPECTED TO ISSUE ADDITIONAL ORDERS TO CHECK FOR BOMBS THAT MAY BE EMBEDDED IN SUPPOSITORIES.

PASSENGERS ARE REMINDED THAT SUPPOSITORIES TEND TO EXPLODE WHEN PASSING THROUGH METAL DETECTION MACHINES, LET ALONE, EXPLOSIVE DEVICES.

INSPECTORS WILL BE CHECKING FOR UNUSUAL TICKING OR OTHER SOUNDS.

A WORD TO THE WISE.