IRIS SCANNER

CAN NOW SCAN YOUR IRIS FROM 6 FEET AWAY. THIS PIC OF OUR SUPER HOMELAND SECURITY SECRETARY CAUGHT HER ADMIRING THE NEW DEVICE OR SHE LEFT HER CELL ON VIBRATE.

THE ICEMAN IS SURE THAT THE NEW SCANNERS WILL POSE NO REAL HARMFUL THREAT.

BLINDNESS MAYBE, BUT NOTHING SERIOUS.