NEW :

PRESIDENTIAL

CANCER REPORT

APPARENTLY, CIGARETTES AREN'T THE ONLY CAUSE OF CANCER.

DUHHHHHH!!!

THE ONLY WAY TO AVOID CANCER IT SEEMS, IS TO:

MOVE AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE FROM THE CITY

STOP EATING EVERYTHING

STOP DRINKING ANY LIQUIDS

STOP SMOKING .... THAT'S A GIVEN .... EXCEPT MARIJUANA

STOP USING CELL PHONE IMMEDIATELY

STOP ALL XRAYS AND SCANNERS

AFTER YOU ACCOMPLISH THESE THINGS, YOU WILL BE HEALTHIER

JUST KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR RADON.