SALT

THE MAYOR OF NYC HAS DECIDED THAT YOU ARE EATING TOO MUCH SALT............

SSOOOOOOOO !!!!

IN ALL HIS WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE ...... HE HAS DECIDED TO TELL ALL THE FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS IN NYC TO CUT WAY BACK ON SALT .........

VOLUNTARILY OF COURSE ........ FOR THE TIME BEING.

IF YOU STILL CAN AFFORD TO EAT OUT IN THE CITY, YOU MIGHT MISS THAT EXTRA PINCH OF SALT AND LIVE A COUPLE MINUTES LONGER, BUT THEN AGAIN, YOU MIGHT SUFFER A HEART ATTACK WHEN YOU GET THE BILL.

HEY MIKEY, DIDJA NOTICE DA BIG APPLE IS SHRINKING IN POPULATION FROM OVERDOSING TAXES.

TAX ON BEER

1900% INCREASE

WOOOOWWW!!!!

ATSA SHAME.

ONLY WORKS OUT TO ABOUT A BUCK AND A QUARTER A CAN EXTRA.

THE SMOKERS "FEEL YOUR PAIN". )O(

NEXT ON THE AGENDA:

IF YA REALLY WANT A BEER .... YOU'LL HAVTA MARCH YOUR FAT ASS OUTDOORS TA CHUGALUG THAT BABY .... SO'S YA DON'T INFECT ANY OF DA SOBER, NON-SMOKERS IN THE ESTABLISHMENT.

NEXT YEAR ..... THERE WILL BE NO ALCHOHOLIC BEVERAGES SOLD WHEREVER FOOD IS SOLD.

AFTER THAT ...... NO FATTENING FOOD WILL BE SERVED ON THE PREMISIS. IF SOME FAT BASTARD INSISTS ON ICE CREAM ..... HE'LL HAVE TO CONSUME IT OUTSIDE.

OUTSIDE .... THE VETERAN SMOKERS WILL BE FORCED TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE BEER DRINKERS AND FAT BASTARDS.

ANY PATRON REMAINING IN THE ESTABLISHMENT WILL BE RESPOSIBLE FOR THE TAB.

ANY PATRON OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT WHO DEVELOPS A WEATHER RELATED ILLNESS WILL BE ABLE TO FILE SUIT AGAINST THE OWNER OF THE PREMISIS.

IQ TEST

4 PIRATES

THIS

IS

A

(A) NOO NOO

(B) OHHHHH NOOOO!!!!

(C) HOLYYYYYY (BLEEP) !!!!!!!!!!

OH BOY !!!!

IT'S OVER !!!!!!

LAST WEEK, THE FARGO BOYS REPORTED A 30 BILLION DOLLAR PROFIT FOR THE QTR. AFTER TAKING OVER THE WACHOVIA OUTFIT.

ICEMAN: SOOOO FARGY, THINGS ARE GOING WELL. HOW'D YA MANAGE TA DO THAT?

FARGY: WE CHANGED ARE ACCOUNTING SYSTEM.

ICEMAN: CHANGED THE SYSTEM? YA MEAN YA REALLY DIDN'T MAKE THAT DOUGH!?

FARGY: NAHHH. JUST THE BOOKS. LOOKS GREAT DON'T IT?

ICEMAN: AREN'T YOU ASKING FOR 20 BILLION FROM THE GOVT. THIS WEEK?

FARGY: YEPPER.

ICEMAN: SO I GUESS THIS IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF A BULL MARKET.

FARGY: U BANK AT WACHOVIA?

ICEMAN: MATTER A FACT .... I DO.

FARGY: OUCH !!!!!

GOVERNMENT

TAKEOVER

COOL !!!!

AT LAST .... THE BUREAUCRATS WILL RUN THE CAR COMPANIES, THE BANKS, INSURANCE COMPANIES AND HEALTH CARE.

AND THE ICEMAN'S SURE THEY WILL DO A FINE, FINE JOB ....

JUST AS THEY DO WITH AMTRAK, THE POST OFFICE, THE DMV AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAS HAD THEIR FINGERPRINTS SMUDGED ALL OVER IT.

UNFORTUNATELY, THERE ARE SOME SMALL PROBLEMS.

POST OFFICE - BROKE

AMTRAK - BROKE

DMV - BROKE

MAYBE THE STATES SHOULD DECIDE WHAT TO DO.

OOOHHH!! ME FERGOT .... THEIR BUSTED TOO.

ANYWAY..... NOW WE HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO WITNESS THE GRAND FINALE.

IS THIS GREAT OR WHAT !!!

SOOO ..... LOOKS LIKE WE COULDA SHOULDA LEFT THIS STUFF IN THE ORIGINAL THEIVES HANDS OR PUT OUR FAITH & TRUST IN THE ABSOLUTE INCOMPETENT STICKY FINGERS OF THE LEADERSHIP .... (THOSE WHO HAVEN'T YET BEEN INDICTED OR IMPRISONED).

SUMMIT MEETING

EUROPE LOVES OUR PRESIDENT. HERE WE SEE ALL THE HEADS OF STATE DESPERATELY SEARCHING FOR THE LAST NICKEL PRESIDENT OBAMA BROUGHT WITH TO SHOW THEM AFTER IT ACCIDENTALLY SLIPPED THROUGH A HOLE IN BARRYS' POCKET.

EVENTUALLY THE NICKEL WAS LOCATED BUT UNFORTUNATELY, AN AGENT FROM A CHINESE COLLECTION AGENCY SWOOPED IN AND SNATCHED IT UP.

THEY WERE SO TAKEN WITH THE PRESIDENT, THEY WERE'NT A BIT SURPRISED TO SEE HIM PASS ON THE AF1 FLIGHT, AND WALK HOME INSTEAD.

THE FRENCH PRESIDENT WAS SO IMPRESSED HE VOLUNTARILY PROMISED TO SEND THREE MORE COMBAT COOKS TO HELP IN AFGHANISTAN. HE FIGURES THE GOOD FAITH EFFORT WILL KEEP THEM FROM BOMBING THE (BLEEP) OUT OF PARIS.

THE GERMANS ARE CONTRIBUTING ALSO. THEIR SENDING A FEW GUYS TO KEEP AN EYE ON THE COOKS SO THEY DON'T TAKE OFF.