PORNO

BAILOUT

THE ECONOMY IS DEFINITELY IN TROUBLE. THE PORNO INDUSTRY HAS APPLIED FOR A BAILOUT.

THE BARE FACTS ARE, IT APPEARS THAT THE INDUSTRY IS IN THE HOLE FOR BILLIONS.

A NUMBER OF SENATORS HAVE RECUSED THEMSELVES FROM VOTING BECAUSE OF THE CONFLICT OF INTEREST.

THE SENATE WILL UNDOUBTEDLY KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND LAY DOWN THE LAW BY FORKING OVER ENOUGH BUCKS TO STOP THE INDUSTRY FROM HITTING BOTTOM.

INDUSTRY REPRESENTATIVES HAVE STATED THAT THEY HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF LAYING DOWN ON THE JOB BUT ADAMANTLY DENY PULLING ANY SERIOUS BONERS.

SENATORS HAVE SUGGESTED RETRAINING FOR LAID OFF WORKERS BUT UNFORTUNATELY THE ONLY SIMILAR VOCATION WOULD INVOLVE RUNNING FOR OFFICE.