WATER = H2O

IT'S NOT YOUR FATHERS WATER ANYMO...... UGGHHH!!!!

OOOPPPSS..... IT ISSS??

YUP. AFTER INTENSIVE STUDY, UNIVERSITIES HAVE STUMBLED UPON ABSOLUTE PROOF THAT BOTTLED WATER IS INDEED WATER.

THE ONLY SIGNIFICANT CONTAMINANT MAY BE PLASTIC RESIDUE. THE ONLY KNOWN CURE FOR PLASTIC INGESTION IS MIXING HUGE AMOUNTS OF CANADIAN CLUB OR BEEFEATERS GIN WITH THE NEXT GULP OF H2O.