SUGGESTION

AT PHILLYS TOWN MEETING IT WAS SUGGESTED BY SOME INCOMPETENT TAXPAYER THAT CITY OFFICIALS REALLY SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN CARS ..... NOT ... CITY OWNED .....MAINTAINED ..... FUELED AND INSURED WITH TAXPAYERS MONEY. THEY SHOULD DUMP THEM ASAP.

REPLY:

CAN'T DO THAT. WE DON'T WANT TO FLOOD THE MARKET WITH SUVs, LIMOs, AND TOWN CARS .... MUCH LESS PUTTING A LARGE NUMBER OF CHAUFFERS OUT OF WORK. NEXT THING YA KNOW YOU'LL BE ASKING OFFICIALS TO GIVE UP PRIVATE PLANES AND STUFF. I'M NUTTER ... NOT NUTS.

ECONOMICS - 101

NEW BOOKS ISSUED FOR NEXT YEARS STUDENTS OF ECONOMICS WILL INCLUDE THE HISTORICAL FINANCIAL DATA FOR THE YEAR 2008.

BANKS - BROKE

MORTGAGE COMPANIES - BROKE

INSURANCE COMPANIES - BROKE

BROKERAGE COMPANIES - BROKE

CITIES - BROKE

3 INDUSTRIES SURVIVED COLLAPSE:

BOOZE

SMOKES

PORN

DUUUUUHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!

NOTE: THE ONLY POSSIBLE WAY TO AVOID BANKRUPTCY.

BECOME THE CEO OF ANY MAJOR COMPANY

OR

RUN FOR ANY POLITICAL OFFICE.

HARRY & NANCY

FIXING THE ECONOMY

H: NOW THAT WE GOT ALL SMART PEOPLE RUNNING THIS THING, YOUR CONGRESS & SENATE ARE FOCUSED ON 1 THING ..... THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ..... THE THING THAT MATTERS MOST ....

AND THAT IS ...............

HOW DO WE KEEP OUR JOBS AND ALL THE BENNYS' THAT COME WITH IT.

ICEMAN: BUT HARRY ...... DONTCHA THINK YOU GUYS HAVE TA CUT WAY BACK TOO ..... BEINGS SO MANY CITIZENS ARE OUTA WORK OR BROKE?

H: GOOD QUESTION ....... AND HERE'S NAN.

N: STUPID AIRPORT ...... ACTUALLY HAD THE BALLS TO TRY AND CHARGE ME TO PARK MY JUMBO ...... IS MY OUTFIT WRINKLED? .... SPILLED CHAMPAGNE ON IT WHEN WE LANDED.

ICEMAN: HOW BOUT IT NANCY ...... YOU SUPER INTELLECTS GOING TO HELP OUT WITH THIS RECESSION OR WHAT?

N: WHO LET THIS CLOWN IN HERE?? YOU HARVARD ALUMNI?? I'M PARCHED. GET ME SOME PERRIER.

BUY AMERICAN

GM VS WHAT???

YOU REALLY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT?

OK ..... THERE'S A SLIGHT PROBLEM ........

MGMT. PULLS DOWN MILLIONS IN BONUSES ........

THE ICEMAN ALWAYS THOUGHT BONUS' MEANT "EXTRA" ... FOR DOING A GREAT JOB ....

AN ASSEMBLY LINE WORKER HAS TO STRUGGLE ALONG WITH SEVENTY BUCKS AN HOUR ......... HOW DEMEANING!!!!!

I'M THINKING !!!

BIG 3

PLUS

UAW

Q & A :

SENATOR: SO YOU GUYS CAME TO DC TA GET A FEW BUCKS ??

B3/U: YUP ... NEED A FEW.

SENATOR: I SEE YA EACH WINGED IT DOWN HERE ON YER PRIVATE JETS.

B3/U: YUP ... YUP.

SENATOR: WELL! .. DONTCHA THINK THAT'S A LITTLE OVER THE TOP FOR THE POSITION YOUR IN??!!!!

B3/U: YOU BET YOUR ASS. WE WAS DAM NEAR KNOCKED OUTA THE AIR WHEN PELOSIS' JUMBO FLEW OVER US. DOES SHE DO THE SAME THING TO YOUR OWN PLANES???

SENATOR: OK!! LET'S GET TO THE BUSINESS AT HAND. AH SAY .... ABOUT HOW MUCH DOUGH YOU BOYS LOOKIN FER?

B3/U: BOUT 50 BIL. CHUMP CHANGE.

SENATOR: HOW LONG'LL THAT LAST YA?

B3/U: FEW MONTHS ..... MORE OR LESS.

SENATOR: HOLY (BLEEP)!!!! YOU SURE YOUR NOT IN POLITICS??? CAN I GET A CADDY OUTA THIS??

NOT AGAIN !!!!!!

WELL !!!! AT LEAST IT'S NOT A

1- FLOOD

2 - MUD SLIDE

3 - EARTHQUAKE

4 - SMOG

5 - SMOKERS CONVENTION

THE GOOD NEWS IS ...........

EVERYBODY'S COVERED BY AIG.

NOTE: LOTS OF FAMOUS CELEBRITIES EFFECTED BY THIS. EVEN OPRAHS' 50 MILLION DOLLAR COTTAGE GOT WARM. SHE WAS OK THOUGH. SHE WAS OVER AT OBAMAS HOUSE WAXING HIS CAR.

MARATHON

NYC

LOOKIIINNN GOOD !!!!

ONLY 3 DUDES DIED FROM THE LAST ONE A COUPLE WEEKS AGO SO FAR.

A BUNCH A MINOR BROKEN BONES, COLLAPSED LUNGS, HEART PROBLEMS AND SUCH NOT REPORTED YET ....BUT ....... OTHER THAN THAT ................... MOST CONTESTANTS ENJOYED THE DAY AND CONTINUED ON TO THEIR VARIOUS PSYCHIATRIST APPOINTMENTS.

LARGE GROUPS OF SMOKERS OBSERVED THE EVENT WHILE SUCKING IN HUGE AMOUNTS OF EVER-SO-ENJOYABLE NEW YORK OXYGEN. NON OF THESE PEDESTRIANS WERE HARMED OR KILLED DURING THE MARATHON.

ICEMAN'S COMMENT

THHHOOO!!!!

THHHIS ISTH THE REASON

WHY

WE'RE BROKE.

YOUR LAST BUCK WAS DIVYED UP TWIXT THE BUREAUCRATS AND THE CORPORATIONS FOR XMAS BONUS'.

WELCOME

MARS LANDER

WHAT AN ACHIEVEMENT !!!!

IN A WAY ....... IT MIMICS THE DOW.

IT WENT WAY WAY UP ...........

AND NOW ................... IT'S

BROKE!!!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS !!!

NOW WE CAN GET DOWN TO BUSINESS AND CONCENTRATE ON SARAHS' WARDROBE.

FINALLY !!!

IT'S HERE !!!!!!!!

A PILL THAT THE COMPANY GUARANTEES YOU WILL STOP SMOKING.

THE ONLY ADVERSE EFFECT ........

....... SUICIDE ........

EITHER WAY ..... YOU WILL QUIT ONCE AND FOR ALL.

ALL ORDERS MUST BE PREPAID.

VOTE

ONCE AGAIN IT IS YOUR PRIVILEGE TO VOTE FOR THE GUY YOU'LL WANT TO IMPEACH 4 YEARS FROM TODAY.