MOST DANGEROUS ASTEROID EVER FOUND

- OR -

THE BIGGEST RUNAWAY

IDAHO SPACE POTATO EVER SPOTED BY HUBBLE:

" SHAMU " ON YOU

HOW TO WARD OFF ATTACKS BY A 5 TON MAMMAL:

1 - DON'T GET IN THE WATER WITH ANY CREATURE LARGER THAN A TEN-WHEELER!!!!!!!!!

2 - DON'T PLAY WITH ANYTHING UNDER WATER LARGER THAN YOUR PINKY.

3 - DON'T THINK YOUR FRIENDS WITH ANY LIVING CREATURE NICKNAMED "KILLER"!!!!!!!!

" CRACKDOWN "

POLONIUM - 210

" THE NAPOLOGY "

COSMO, THE WEALTHY UNEMPLOYED COMEDIAN, APOLOGIZED FOR SAYING THE "N" WORD. NOT THE "F" WORD OR ANY OTHER MOTHER(BLEEPING) WORD.

JESSE, THE WEALTHY UNEMPLOYED PHILANDERING REV, SUGGESTED CRAZY CRACKER COSMO (SCRATCH THE "C" WORD) SHOULD SEEK PSYCHIATRIC HELP AND OFFERED TO MINISTER TO HIM, UNLESS HE'S ALREADY A SCIENTOLOGY CONVERT.

AS ONE PHILANDERER TO ANOTHER, JESSE WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL IN MINISTERING TO OUR X PREZ.

JESSE AND HIS MINISTRY WILL SOON EMBARK ON A CRUSADE TO ELIMINATE THE "N" WORD FROM THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, HOWEVER, IT MAY BANKRUPT THE RAP MUSIC INDUSTRY AND MOST AFRO-AMERICAN COMEDIANS.

" I SPY "

Could it be .....?????

Naaaa.

But the Barber swears!!!!

" KRAMER " !!!!!!!!

HUNDREDS OF COMEDIANS & RAPPERS HAVE PLEDGED "NOT TO USE THE "N" WORD" IN THEIR PERFORMANCE.

THE " D " WORD

SO, ..... IN ORDER TO BRING OUR BOYS HOME, DA FIRST THING WE GOTTA DO IS BRING BACK THE "DRAFT".

See, I told ya so. The Dems have it all figured out. And you said they didn't have a plan! Idiot.

" ANOTHER HAPPY DAY IN THE LAND OF THE LITTLE PEOPLE "

WE WISH TOMMY AND HIS WALLET MANY HAPPY WEEKS OF MARITAL JOY.

" THE DEMS HAVE IT "

THEY'RE ALREADY PRACTICING THE INTERNATIONAL SIGN OF SURRENDER OR TESTING THE LIMITS OF A NEW UNDERARM DEODORANT.

CONGRATS NANCY & CHUMS.

- VALIUM IS NOW AVAILABLE IN BULK SHIPMENTS -

HOW 2 VOTE

- PROCESS OF ELIMINATION -

1 - NO PEDOPHILES:
2 - NO ONE UNDER INDICTMENT:
3 - NO HOMOSEXUALS:
4 - NO LESBIANS:
5 - NO ZILLIONAIRES:
6 - NO LAWYERS:
7 - NO HARVARD OR YALE GRAD:
8 - NO ONE THAT NEVER HAD A REAL JOB:
9 - NO ONE THAT WILL NOT HAVE TO DEPEND ON SS:
10 - NO KNOWN BULL(BLEEP) ARTISTS:

NOTE:

DISREGARD ALL NEGATIVE ADS. THEIR ALL TRUE.

BY USING THIS METHOD AND YOU HAVE PICKED A CANDIDATE,
PLEASE NOTIFY THE "ICEMAN" ASAP. HE'S STUMPED

" BIG BAD JOHN "

"CONGRATULATIONS "