IT'S HERE

EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT BE BEHIND THE TIMES WITH ALL THE NEW GIZMOS ..... THIS IS THE LATEST AND THE GREATEST.

IT'S EVEN BEING THREATENED ALREADY BY WARNINGS OF SEVERE EYE DAMAGE.

THE ICEMAN HASN'T YET MASTERED THE USE OF HIS CELL PHONE GADGET. HE CAN'T SEE THE LETTERS AND NUMBERS AND SUFFERS FROM EYE STRAIN AS A RESULT. IS THAT CONSIDERED EYE DAMAGE?

WHAT'S A HOLOGRAM?

DONTCHA JUST LOVE NY

YOU CAN BUY A MAYORS OFFICE IF YA GOT ENOUGH BUCKS.

YOU CAN GET PAID SUPER BIG BUCKS FROM A UNION AND SLEEP ON THE JOB.

YOU CAN SHOVEL SNOW TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT.

AND ABOVE ALL ...... YA GET TA PAY REALLY LOW TAXES.

YUP!! IF YA LOVE SNOW JOBS

THIS IS THE PLACE TO BE.

SECURETY CHECK

# 1

CRANIAL

STEP # 2

DUAL PURPOSE.

BOMB CHECK & PROSTATE EXAM

STEP # 3

CLASSIFIED

Merry Christmas

to

All

---- NON-VITE ----

BARRY: SO WE'RE NOT INVITED TO THE BIG SHINDIG EHHH!!???

I GOT NEWS FOR YA BABE .... WE WER'NT GOIN TO INVITE YOU TO GO ON THE PILGRIMAGE TO MECCA EITHER .... SO THERE!!!!

NEWS

FROM THE SURGEON GENERAL

SHE HAS COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT ONE (1) PUFF WILL DEFINITELY KILL BOTH YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY AND MAY ELIMINATE ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT.

THE SG RECOMMENDS SWITCHING TO GRASS ASAP.

SHE WILL MAKE A FORMAL ANNOUNCEMENT IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING HER NEXT THERAPY SESSION.

BEST BUDS

BARRY & WILLY

-VERMICULITE-

THE LATEST CANCER CAUSING THREAT.

WELL? IT HAPPENS TO BE IN EVERYTHING FROM SOUP TO NUTS IN THE US. THINGS LIKE ALL THE ATTIC INSULATION ACROSS THE COUNTRY .... GARDEN FERTILIZERS ... ETC.

SOOOOO .... LET'S ADD THIS ONE TO OUR LIST OF CANCER CAUSING AGENTS ....... CHEMICALS IN OUR FURNITURE, RUGS, DRAPES, CLOTHING, DRY CLEANING, AUTO UPHOLSTERY, EXHAUST, HAIR DYES, COSMETICS, FOOD PRESERVATIVES, PAINT, SHEETROCK, XRAYS, CT SCANS, AIR, WATER .............................................

AND HERE, THE ICEMAN THOUGHT THE BIG KILLER WAS IN HIS SMOKES .... SILLY ME.

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP ..... NOW WE'RE TOLD AN ASPRIN CAN PROTECT YOU FROM A LOT OF THIS STUFF ........ AT LEAST UNTIL SOME CLOWN TELLS US HOW DANGEROUS ASPRIN IS.

AMAZING!! ISN'T IT? NOW .... INSTEAD OF JUST US SMOKERS HAVING TO LEAVE THE HOUSE IF YA WANNA SMOKE ......... EVERYBODY WILL BE OUTDOORS BECAUSE THE OL HACIENDA IS DANGEROUS. OH OH ..... WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT THE AIR?? .... AND FOR PETES SAKE DON'T DRINK FROM THE FAUCET ...... JUST WATER FROM ONE OF THOSE DUPONT PLASTIC WATER BOTTLES.

5 REASONS